Former NYC Mayor Rudi Giuliani has announced today that the US Department of Homeland Security has decided that migratory birds travelling between Mexico and Canada, over United States territory constitute a terrorist security threat to the United States.

As of today, April 12, 2005 migratory birds entering US air space will be considered hostile and will be dealt with accordingly. All resources, including the missile defense system, will be used to ensure that this threat is met and contained.

Birds will be required to fly over international waters, on pre-determined, none threatening flight paths. Mexico and Canada will be held responsible for any violations. Penalties will include immediate destruction for the birds, and exclusion from future visits to the Texas ranch for Mexico and Canada. No exceptions will be tolerated.